You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
