so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
