"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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