K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
