your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
