is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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