The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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