Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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