I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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