no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
