hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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