Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
