I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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