Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
