She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
