i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize