I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We were destined to go to rehab together
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
