How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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