She went from zero to smokin in five shots
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
