We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
