At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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