Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
