when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
