We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
