haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
