i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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