everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
