She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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