its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
