I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize