Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
