Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
