I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
