Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize