If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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