batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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