I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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