i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is the high leading the old right now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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