No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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