I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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