dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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