WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
