I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
