When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
