I hope mine doesn't look like that
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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