Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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