i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
