her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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