Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
