Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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