The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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