she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize