I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
