I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
