Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
