I'm really into asian looking animals
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
