For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
sarcasm needs its own font
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
