Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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