your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
