I cockslap morals
Need sex. Gaining weight.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
