im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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