Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What a dumb baby whore.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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