What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
